Crazy Daisy

So here we are Monday night and I am already ready for the weekend. Today wasn't so bad but Guy is working late so I was solo on bedtime tonight and much to my surprise the little boy was being a pickle and didn't go down until almost 9.

This past weekend was a busy one, we took the kids to a carnival on Friday, we had a wedding Saturday, I showed houses on Sunday and then spent the rest of the day at my in-laws for my brother-in-laws birthday.  It was whirlwind to say the least. The wedding was beautiful and I got to rock a cute dress I purchased on RueLaLa last fall when I was pregnant in hopes that it would fit for one of my summer weddings! And success, the last wedding of the Summer it was! The late nights are so exhausting though, we got home around midnight and after 5am both kids were up on and off so sleep was lacking for us. I could not wait to get into bed last night.

Hubs, Sister and I at the wedding!!

I am still trying to catch up on my mommy time but it has not been successful at all. My babysitter that helps me out 2 days a week has not been here very regularly. Most recently the other kids she was watching had coxsackie and I wanted no part of that so I told her not to come for a few days.  She was back Friday thankfully and I was so looking forward to her coming tomorrow, but here I sit at almost 10pm and she texted me to tell me she had a family emergency and won't be here tomorrow. Now I can't blame her for having a family problem but it just makes my walls close in further on me. I need my space even for a few hours a week. I am thankful that at least its Summer and my niece is around to help me out.

And now I have hit writers block, my brain has stopped. So I am going to finish my glass of wine and hit the sheets.  I promise to write more this week when I can focus.

xoxo - Mellycup

Whats your excuse?

OK here it is. I know that I can be a total bitch some days, most days, every day maybe but its the way I am.  Some things will never change.

However I know at this particular junction in my life the "bitch switch" is very sensitive, it all adds up to lack of sleep, being overwhelmed, at someone's beck and call for milk, having a very sassy toddler constantly testing my patience and never feeling like I have any alone time or seeing a time when I ever will have an opportunity to have any time to myself.

Being a stay home mom comes with a different kind of stress, this is not a pissing contest as to who has the most "stressful" job, everyone has job stress and life stress. I am always worrying if I am doing a good job, if Mia is going to hate me because she gets less attention, am I doing right by my clients, am I being a good wife, why is my house always on its head. The list goes on.

I am in a little overwhelmed funk and so I am bitchy and I feel like no one understands. But I am sure there a million moms out there who feel exactly the same way, who have it much worse than I could ever imagine.  And you single moms out there - BLESS your hearts!!!!!!!

So I am apologizing to all for being a bitch, its just the track I am on right now, hopefully things will improve as time goes by.

xoxo - Mellycup

First quarter report

Its hard to believe that 3 months has already gone by since Little Guy was born. My sweet tiny snuggly baby has turned into a big chunka baby who smile and coos. He is so happy! We are so blessed. Growing like a weed - just out of curiosity I weighed him yesterday and he is 15 lbs! This kid loves to eat.

 Happy 3 month old boy!

Sassy Little Girl!!

I find that this time around is completely different, I am less stressed about things and I am trying to not start some of the bad habits I created with Mia and drove myself crazy about.  The biggest things are not swaddling him and not rocking him to sleep.  We swaddled Mia with those swaddle me things until she was almost 6 months old and it was a hard habit to break. The same with rocking her to sleep and holding her while she slept. I try to lay him down and let him fuss a little and fall asleep on his own. I hope I am creating a better sleeper this time around.

Last night was the best night he had in a long time, he ate at 8:30pm and went to bed directly after then he slept until 3am and went back to sleep until 6:15 when I had to wake him up to feed him before our early therapy appointment. I was bummed about waking him up, I was curious to see if he would have went until 7am or later. I am hoping for this to be the new pattern, I can totally handle that!

My days are good for the most part but I'm not going to lie and sugar coat it likes its all wonderful all the time. There are days where I am literally ready to just shut down my engines and run away.  Having a toddler and a new baby will do that to you.  Mia has entered the "terrible two" phase and has definitely been challenging Guy and I, testing our limits. Between that and trying to handle the baby who also has bad days I could really go crazy.  But thankfully just when I think I am so burnt out that I can't handle anymore things start to turn and get better and Guy always steps in when he can to give me even a small break! The ups and downs of motherhood.

I am also patting myself on the back for making it to the halfway point of my breastfeeding goal of 6 months with very few speed bumps. So far my biggest complainer is Guy (my husband) as it drives him crazy with the pumping and being cautious about drinking too much. In all fairness he misses the fun Mel who can have more than 1 glass of wine!  I did hit my first hurdle this past week and had a breast infection (mastitis), I knew exactly what it was from the Mia days and got myself to the Doctor and on medicine ASAP.  Thankfully the worst part (chills, fever and aches) happened overnight so I was able to sleep through it.

Me on Saturday going out for date night!

As for "Project Melissa" I am still working on getting back to a healthier version of myself.  I am trying to squeeze in workouts 4-5 days a week and am still being careful about my diet.  I am proud to say that 3 months after having the baby I have lost 40lbs, 6 more than I gained in pregnancy! I am also more fit than I have been in a long time, the cardio and light weight training are really helping.  My goal is to lose another 10 and see where I am at and if I want to do another 10 after that.  But we'll see.

So that's where I am as of today.  Time to go jump in the shower while little man is snoozing!

xoxo - Mellycup

Then the days turned into years and the memories to black and white

This is always a sad day in my heart, 25 years ago today my dad died.  I was 8 years old when he died suddenly from a massive cerebral hemorrhage. Barely old enough to fully understand that my whole life would go by without the man who I thought hung the moon.  I still cry about him and miss him all the time.  8 years was not enough time to have with him, I was still a little girl who needed a daddy, my sister and I will always feel a little empty inside. My mom was a rock and did the best job raising us as a single mom.

As I get older I start to panic about life and losing a spouse.  My mom was 34 when my dad died, just 6 months older than I am now, I can't imagine losing Guy and I have some serious fears about it. This life doesn't work without him and I have no idea how my mom did it. I know that she probably felt like she didn't want to go on but her kids were what drove her to get up everyday and pick up the pieces.  Mom you are amazing!

And here we are 25 years later, so much of my life has been without him and missing him.  I am always sad when I think about all that he has missed, my college graduation, my wedding, and my darling babies who will never know their Grandpa Bobby. I always wish that he was here to meet Guy, I think he would have loved Guy, and I know he looks down from heaven and is glad I found Guy to take care of me. Whenever I am going through a tough time I pray to him and my other angels for their help and guidance. I know that he watches over and blesses our family, but we'd rather have him here.

Daddy I will always be your little girl and I will miss you always. I hope you look down on us and are proud of all that Liz and I have become, and all that mommy did to raise us on her own.  I will never be fully healed from you loss, I will still be the girl who leaves the room and cries during father daughter dances at weddings and feels jealous of every girl who whose dad walks them down the aisle. Thank you for being my angel, I know we only had 8 years but I cherish all the memories I have of you and I will never forget.  I love you always.  P.S. I hope a little black & white dog has found his way into your heart and you've taken him under your wing.  Give him an extra kiss for me.

My dad snuggin me back in 1979. 

xoxo - Mellycup

More coffee please

Oh my goodness I am so tired.  My little man has been keeping me busy. Not sure if he is going through a growth spurt or what but he has been feeding every 2.5 hours during they day, then goes to bed at 8 and for the past few nights been up at 12am, 3am and then 5:30am. And at the last am feed his sweet smiley face doesn't want to go back to sleep in his crib and I end up taking him back to bed with me.  YAWN!

I have also reached the point where I find myself saying, "all I want is 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep!"  Pleading out loud for the opportunity to check into a dark hotel room and sleep!  I am deprived.  Ahh the life of a newborn mother. All this while juggling a busy toddler!

And I have become totally brainless. I keep doing really things that are so not my norm.  Here is what has been going on lately: I have thrown away 2 of my Cutco steak knives, forgotten to flush the toilet numerous times, forgot to meet a friend at the park and was 30 minutes late when I finally remembered, and on Tuesday I forgot that I was supposed to drive my niece to Tae Kwon Do, thankfully she called me to remind me and I was able to get her there in time.

As for my knives I am so mad at myself, I have had them for 8 years with no incidents and now 2 are gone.  Not to mention that work has been crazy for me, I just put a deal together on a listing I have had for a year, I have 2 clients who are in the purchase process and I have 2 more listings coming on the market. So that is keeping me busy as well, I am glad to be working, I am just trying to make sure I am doing my best, I owe it to my clients! Hopefully sleep will come soon and I can get my "A" game back fully, some days I feel like I am functioning at a "B" level.

Off to put Mia to bed and try and squeak in nap as well.

xoxo - Mellycup.

Those people

When do you become 'those people'?  There is no magical transformation date but I think once you have kids no matter how hard you try you become those people.

You know who I am talking about the people who give dirty looks at people smoking or doing anything unsavory near their kids, shushing loud people and the people everyone stares at when you go out for dinner with the kids or take them on a plane.  First thought in most diners heads: "great now we have to listen to screaming kids."  And YES I am totally guilty of that, even now, I think there is some truth to the thinking that most people like their own kids and no one else's.  Although all my friends have pretty awesome kids.

I found myself fully aware of this transformation on our last trip to Old Forge.  And of course I am only finding time now almost a month later to blog about it. On our second night we took the kids to dinner at one of our favorite places (Red Dog Tavern), a small local place.  Our friends Joe & Beth also came with their two kids Zack (who is 2) and Cody (who is 1), insert Nickelodeon comment here, although their names were not intentional. Anyhow here we are 4 adults and 4 kids, 2 - 2 year olds, a 1 year old and a 8 week old baby.  Talk about stares, the minute we walked in the place people were all thinking the same thing.  BAM!! We had become those people and that was the very moment I realized it!  Dinner was fine for the most part, the kids all behaved and didn't cause a ruckus, so all the other patrons were safe, but I can never predict what the future may hold.

Another thing I noticed over the weekend was the noise, Mia's room is on the front end of the house close to the road, so every time a loud motorcycle went by I was cursing them in my head if she was napping or sleeping.  And it continued at home when I noticed a loud car with bass going by right after I laid the baby down, and let's not forget about all the wonderful people lighting off fireworks randomly on the 4th of July and the surrounding days.  Here I am constantly telling people to "be quiet!" and huffing at all the noise makers that could possibly be disturbing my little one's slumber.  Yet I am guilty of being that person at one time or another, for years Guy and I both drove around with loud stereos systems and gave no thought to the time of day or how loud it was. We also had loud exhausts. Even now Guy has a loud Harley, I always know when he is coming or going!

But now I find myself on the defense. I am a parent I have kids. We can't be expected to never go out.  And for heaven's sake - keep the noise down!!  ;)

xoxo - Mellycup

Baby therapy

A few posts back I mentioned that the baby had a slight flattening on one side of his head and our pediatrician suggested we take him to therapy at Norwalk Hospital.

We had our initial evaluation 2 weeks ago and the therapist diagnosed him with 'congenital torticollis' which basically means in Little Guy's case that the muscle(s) on one side of his neck are weak and that is causing him to primarily look right and tilt his head to left.  Therefore making that side of his head flat.  

At the initial visit the therapist got me into a frenzy about the cost and insurance. Being self-employed we have to provide our own healthcare. Therefore the most cost effective thing for us is to have a high deductible plan that is not overly expensive monthly (under $1,000) but we have to pay for any medical bills until we have reached an $8,000 deductible.  Well care is covered, so we are not charged for check ups for the kids or ourselves.  But any other trips to the Doctor, chiropractor, or therapy are all paid by us. We don't pay the full price, we pay the rate the insurance would pay which they negotiate down, but still it sucks to be self-employed - thanks for being awesome America.  

Anyhow the therapist asked me about insurance and when I explained our situation she got all nervous because therapy through the hospital is very expensive, the evaluation alone is $800, and she was concerned about us getting in over our heads with the cost. Of course I asked that they bill my insurance right away so I could get a better idea of our cost, but they only bill at the end of the month, and this was July 3rd.  I became totally unglued because I needed to know if I should look for a private therapist that would be cheaper to pay directly or if the insurance would knock the rates down. I did not want to get hit with some ridiculous bill come August, as he is scheduled for weekly appointments.  Thankfully at the 2nd visit, the therapist gave me the billing codes and I was able to get a rough idea of what our cost will be and it wasn't as bad as we expected.  At least I am hoping.

As for Little Guy having this issue, there is no real explanation. Its not serious, he has a mild case of the head flattening and we should be able to help him without getting one of those baby helmets since we started treatment early.  When the doctor first brought it up, I started stressing and immediately blamed myself, the way we held him etc.  The therapist corrected me and said its nothing we did and we couldn't prevent it, but you still can't help blaming yourself, mother's guilt!  As for the baby, he is doing very well with his therapy, he cooperates and seems to be making improvements already, at least that is what the therapist says. However I know this won't be a short term thing, even when we are done with therapy I have exercises to do with him at home daily to help strengthen his neck, which she said need to be done over the next 18 months! There is even a way to pick him up and carry him that will help.

As for me I am finding myself stressing more than anyone else about it, between the insurance, remembering to pick him up the right way and finding time to do his exercises, (2 exercises, 5 sets a day).  I want him to be okay so I am trying my best to be on top of it. In truth I know that I am being overly emotional and dramatic about this. In the grand scheme of things, he is perfectly healthy baby boy and we are so blessed for that.  In the end as long as he gets his muscle strength back, Guy and I could care less if he's a little flat on one side of the head.  He is still perfect to us, no matter what.

Is he not the most adorable thing ever??

xoxo - Mellycup

Tired is an understatement.

Having kids and staying out late are not a good combination, at least in my experience.  At this point in my life with my kids being 2 1/2 and 11 weeks old my days are consumed by caring for them and they don't have a snooze button.

Most nights I get adequate sleep, but I still feel like its never enough.  I am still getting up around 2:30 and 5am to nurse the baby, then we are up at 7am for the day, so my sleep is choppy, at most I get 3-4 straight hours at a time.  I am dreaming about the day Little Guy will sleep through the night, although I am not convinced it will be anytime soon, as breastfed babies digest breast milk faster and are hungry sooner.  That is a sacrifice you make when you commit to breast feeding. Bless those moms out there who go as long as they do.

As for going out a night, as much as I enjoy time out with my husband, late nights are not ideal for us right now.  A quick dinner out is about all I can handle before racing to get back to the kids and my bed.  I try to get to bed before 10pm most nights.

Occasionally we have to break the rules as we did last night when we went to a wedding.  It was in upstate Connecticut. We left at 12:15am before the wedding had even ended and then we had an hour plus ride home. By the time I crawled into bed it was 2am,  then the baby was up at 3:30 and 6am. I think I got 4.5 hours of sleep last night.  Insert big yawn here.

Guy was tired as well but the kids had us up at 7:30 and so we went about our day. Like I said no snooze button on your kids!  I also noticed that whenever we are tired the kids seem more challenging, but that may because have less we patience due to exhaustion. Needless to say we can't wait for bedtime tonight, I predict us to be in bed by 9pm once the kids are asleep.

The double edged sword is that as hard as it is not sleeping I know in my heart that I will look back and miss the days when my baby was small and needed me. And although I can't wait to have my adult time back and have nights out without being exhausted the next day I cherish every moment with my kids and wouldn't trade this life for anything.

xoxo - Mellycup

The BEST Roasted Tomatoes Appetizer

Roasted Tomato Appetizer

 This is truly one of the best party recipes. It always gets rave reviews and is SO delicious.  A little time consuming with the cooking but totally worth it. Plus you can make it up to 5 days in advance! Also big thanks to my dear friend Maria from Florida for turning me onto this recipe!


I always serve it with mozzarella but the original called for goat cheese and I am not a fan. The mini mozzarella balls can be found at Whole Foods, perfect for this dish! Also don't over do it on the garlic, even if you like a lot of garlic, because its not cooked with the tomatoes and it can be too overpowering! 


Ingredients:

1 cups (or more) olive oil, divided
2 pounds plum tomatoes, halved lengthwise, seeded
1 1/2 teaspoons dried oregano
3/4 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 to 2 garlic cloves, minced
Tiny Mozzarella balls  OR  Aged goat cheese (such as Bûcheron)
1 baguette, thinly sliced crosswise, toasted

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 250°F. 


Pour 1/2 cup oil into 13x9x2-inch glass or ceramic baking dish. Arrange tomatoes in dish, cut side up. 


Drizzle with remaining 1/2 cup oil. Sprinkle with oregano, sugar, and salt.


Bake 1 hour. Using tongs, turn tomatoes over. Bake 1 hour longer. Turn
tomatoes over again. Bake until deep red and very tender, transferring
tomatoes to plate when soft (time will vary, depending on ripeness of
tomatoes), about 15 to 45 minutes longer.

Layer tomatoes in medium bowl/dish, sprinkling garlic over each
layer; reserve oil in baking dish. Drizzle tomatoes with reserved oil,
adding more if necessary to cover. Let stand at room temperature 2
hours. 


Serve with mozzarella or aged goat cheese and toasted baguette slices.


DO AHEAD - Cover; chill up to 5 days. Bring to room temperature
before serving.


Enjoy! xoxo - Mellycup

Food breakups

I have a major love affair with Italian food - mainly the basics.  Pasta with Meatballs and my number one go to dish Chicken Parm!  I LOVE chicken parm, when I got out for Italian I order that 9 times out of 10.
I also cook it at home a lot, towards the end of my pregnancy we were eating it at least once a week. I am a junkie when it comes to chicken parm.

But once Little Guy came along I had to break up with pasta, meatballs and chicken parm because of the red sauce. From my past experiencing anything with tomato sauce is the worst thing for my breastfeeding and it really upsets the baby. So for the last 10 weeks I have not had any pasta or my beloved chicken parm. I am going through some serious withdrawal.   If I had to choose 1 thing to eat for the rest of my life it would either be pasta or chicken parm, so this has been rough on me.

I did have fettuccine Alfredo with grilled shrimp the other night, I figured that was safe since it was not red sauce and that proved to be true.  It was delicious but not a replacement for the good stuff.

Guy on the other hand has been totally unfazed by our lack of Italian food.  He is not into Italian food the way I am and could do without pasta, red sauce etc!  However he has a love affair with Mexican food! And he is Italian! Can you figure that one out?

So let me close by giving you a link to an amazing recipe for meatballs and sauce that I saw on the TV at the gym. Ironic I know.  But any who this recipe is so good and a nice decadent treat every now and then, maybe I will make it for my first post-breastfeeding dinner.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/bucatini-with-bacon-sauce-and-meatballs-recipe/index.html

Also you can use whatever kind of pasta you want, I usually skip the bucatini and use ziti.  I also used this sauce for stuffed shells at Christmas with the meatballs on the side. It was a hit! Yes I am one of those foodie people who totally takes pictures of food all the time.

xoxo - Mellycup