So Friday and its the weekend which I think gives me more anxiety because the weather is supposed to be nice and that means the pool will be enjoyed by everyone but me. As I am juggling the kids and so sitting in a chair soaking up sun and drinking beers is not in the cards for me.
Yes I am feeling sorry for myself and I am in a bad mood, feeling a little overwhelmed and stressed. Having 2 kids will do that to you!
Today was day 5 of potty training and it was also quitting day. I admit it. She is just not ready, she was screaming when we asked her to sit on the potty, super tense so she wouldn't pee on it and then she would end up peeing on the floor. And I felt stressed like I was pressuring her and then getting even more stressed that she would pee on the floor. Truthfully its not worth it, honestly I think I was pushing it because everyone was pushing me. And after her pooping in underwear this morning I was ready too throw in the towel, I asked her and she said she wanted diapers. So you know what she is getting her diapers back. I will try again a little later in the summer. Hoping to get her started before preschool this fall.
Wednesday the kids both had their checkups. Mia did great, no shots, growing and developing well. Little Guy was good as well, 13 lbs and 24.5 inches long. He had 3 shots which led him to have a very cranky afternoon. Screaming his head off, I seriously never heard him cry that much ever. Thankfully a quick dose of tylenol helped bring my smiley boy back. One thing that the Dr. noticed was a little bit of a flat spot developing on the right side of his head, and so he told us we have to take the baby to physical therapy for his neck to encourage him to look more to the left and hopefully fix the situation. I really don't want to have to have him in the head piece. Of course that made me feel bad like its something we did. I know it will be fine and this is such a small thing that I shouldn't let it bug me but it does. Hopefully our therapy on Tuesday will shed some more light on it and make me feel better!
In addition, Guy is working like crazy again so by the end of the day he is ready to just sit down, have a drink and not have to be dropped into the madness here. My stress is adding to his stress and I can already feel the tension brewing. I feel like we are always competing with who has more stress and because his job is crazy busy and stressful he feels he automatically wins. I have no idea how to make him see that being responsible for small 2 human beings 24 hours a day and never getting a full nights sleep is very stressful. My breaks are limited and this week has really broken me down. I can't just have a few glasses of wine and go to sleep to unwind, I am constantly on mom alert.
And so today I am just really on edge, my chest is tight and I am fighting back tears. I am having a mom failure day and I really need some support. Thank you for reading, I really just needed to vent. Off to give kisses to my cuties. Hoping for a better day today.
xoxo - Mellycup